I don't work well without an agenda. I need to have a plan in order to get things done, and the plan needs to be right in front of me or else I'll forget.
I'm forgetful, as I have mentioned before. This doesn't always amuse Meghaan. She understands that I don't organize things the same way she does, but I'm sure it's frustrating to be someone who is very organized with a spouse who can't even organize his own lunch box.
I think I'm good at a lot of other things. I've got 99 skills but organization ain't 1.
We had several things that needed to get done yesterday, and some of them did. Lots of them didn't. There was a moment where we had been doing things for hours and I was tired of working so I restrung an old guitar and messed around with it for an hour.
That was a good way to relax, and I'm glad I did it. But I didn't get several things on my chore list done, and for the first day this week I didn't complete a blog post. Part of me feels bad, but I don't think I should.
I think there's a lot of value in not always working. I just had a conversation with someone last night and we agreed that there's a pervasive idea that if we aren't doing something productive, we're wasting time. That's not cool. We should be free to spend time doing whatever makes us happy. So long as we get all the immediate priorities done, of course.
I want to somehow show Lela that it's ok to relax. You are not a failure if you look at a list of chores and decide to do something you love. It seems like kids today are learning earlier than ever that life is about getting up early, doing things you hate with people you don't like for 8 hours, and coming home to practice the skills you find absolutely useless until you go to bed.
That's not living, and I don't want Lela to be a part of that system.
I think I'll teach her this at a young age in a very dramatic fashion so she doesn't forget. Right now my best idea is I'll take her to a play and when they hand me the playbill I'll rip it to shreds and throw it in the air and tell the usher that I'll listen to the songs I want when I'm ready, not when they expect me to. And I'll nod at Lela so she knows I'm making an important point.
As I'm being escorted away in handcuffs, Lela will think "I should have asked mom to come to my performance." And perhaps she'll also find the value in breaking free from the agenda.